Happy Halloween and Merry Samhain, loves! 🎃 Instead of partaking in festivities, I’m researching what kind of stuff I’ll need to have for chemotherapy and starting to search for those things on Amazon to put in my cart. I’ll probably end up with quite the chemo haul. 😆
I scheduled my port placement surgery and first chemo session today. Getting those appointments scheduled has suddenly made chemo feel very real. 😬 Here is the updated schedule of events for the next couple weeks:
- Friday, 11/1 (tomorrow) — Chemo education session @ 10:45 am
- Wednesday, 11/6 — Port placement surgery @ 8:30 am (actual surgery time is 10 am)
- Friday, 11/8 — Final medical oncologist appt before chemo @ 11 am
- Tuesday, 11/12 — First day of chemo @ 10:15 am
I’m hoping my port will be placed on the right side, where the cancer was. Mainly because that side is still healing and not working right, so I’d prefer a second hit on that side than to make my other side also not work right. Apparently the port is usually placed on the right side, but I also read that for breast cancer, it’s placed on the side opposite the cancer. So, we’ll see.
I’m taking off work the rest of the week after port placement surgery and again after chemo. I have no idea how much time I’ll actually need off after chemo, so I’ve told my client I’ll make myself available if I’m feeling up to working sooner and I’ll let them know as soon as possible if I need more time. They have been absolutely wonderful about supporting me and accommodating my needs through this whole cancer situation. I’m super grateful.
I’m planning to cut my hair and shower this weekend. I don’t shower often (once every 2-3 months, usually) because of my existing chronic illnesses (ME/CFS and POTS) but I want to take the opportunity while I can — before things get worse with another surgery and chemo.
I’m thinking about cutting my hair without a guard on the clippers. Somehow the thought of making myself bald feels more empowering than just waiting for it to happen to me. I’d rather be in control of that decision. And then hopefully my hair will be nice and short when it starts to fall out. It feels to me like the shorter my hair is when that happens, the less freaked out about it I’ll be.
As chemo is starting to feel more real, we’re able to start to settle into the idea and begin to consider practicalities. One important consideration is that we’re not going to be able to see family (or anyone) for the holidays or my birthday this year. Because chemo will destroy my immune system. So, for the next few months, we’ll be keeping ourselves sequestered at home, trying to avoid getting sick. Like during the height of the pandemic! It’s something of a disappointment. I love the holidays. And it’s my geekiest birthday (42). But we’ll do what we need to do this year.
That’s all for today. Thanks for reading, friends! ❤️